Saturday, May 21, 2011

The dreams I dream

Stepping out of my hostel block, I find myself in a cool autumn mist.
The trees are golden with promise of the impending fall of the leaves.
I breathe in the fresh air - too fresh;
no, this is not the air of the place I think I should have been in.
Instead, I'm up on a hill,
surrounded by the eeriness that comes with the peace.
Where are the people?
Where is the scorching sun?
I wander about this familiar place that has turned unfamiliar.
Oh, look! Up on the roof of the canteen - it's a friend of mine!
But wait...he is turning into a hawk, and it is charging toward me.
My reflex responds - out of self-defense or a desire to touch the bird, I don't know.
I reach out my hands, either to protect my face or to pet the hawk.
It's crazy that I will want to pet an angry hawk, but I really do want to.
It attacks me. Twice.
Then a blue alien appears and she has huge dark eyes,
so intense they penetrate into mine.
I cringe at her sight. Scared maybe.
She looks frighteningly furious, and I am pretty sure she will be the cause of an apocalypse.
Somebody starts attacking the alien.
And suddenly, all that I see is a man snapping out of his daze,
devastated for his lover who will soon turn into a blue alien.
He has just had a terrible vision of the future which is my dream.

This story hardly makes any sense, I know. It is one of the many weird (creepy, if you will) and bizarrely random dreams I haven't stopped having in these past weeks. I wake up unable to find the meanings hidden in the my dreams - many of which are probably never going to be remembered in my consciousness anyway.

In my wakefulness, I find relief in knowing that the blue alien was just a product of my mind. But there was also a part of me who would rather have stayed in the dream a little longer. It was a quiet, eerie and lonely surrounding of a hostel compound I was in, but for the very same reason that made my dream spooky and me feeling disturbed, I was drawn toward it. I realize that no matter how spooky my dream is or how little sense it makes, I want to be in it again. This thought is not unlike the case of Mal in Inception who just wants to stay in her dream that has become her reality. I wonder if I'm delusional like her too.

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