Monday, April 1, 2013

Trust

Standing in the coach of a light rail transit (LRT), I realize, in all my days of being in there, I have trusted the vehicle to bring me to my destination without so much of a thought of the risk involved. Every time I step into the vehicle, I have placed my confidence in the ones who engineered the railway, trusted the workers who then built the rail that it would not break apart as I speed past it. I have trusted the coach to not derail, and the passengers beside me to not do something crazy or suicidal that would lead me to my end. I have even trusted the earth to not open up, and swallow us all — train, passengers and the concrete structure that keeps us suspended in midair. It strikes me then, how much trust is involved just to traverse a world.

Not a long time later, I stand in a cafeteria, and think again about the trust involved, this time in getting my meal. Every day, I have trusted the hands that cooked the food — hands that I have never even seen — that they mean me no harm. That they care about cooking a healthy meal for another. That the fork and spoon I eat with have been thoroughly cleaned for my benefit. Even taking a few steps backward, that the farmer who grew the grains on my plate has not used a questionable method of farming to produce his crops.

I admit, there are times when I think about a stranger putting poison in my chocolate brownie  not because of a personal animosity against me but humanity in general, and I only happened to be the unfortunate soul hit by chance. Moments like this don't happen all the time though, which raises the question: how have most things earned my confidence on most days, so that I can eat, take a public transport or walk on the fifth floor of a mall without becoming hysterical about the things that can possibly go wrong in the process?

(All that said, there is one thing that I will be forever wary of, and that is the elevator.)

I've always thought that trust didn't come easily to me. But when I take a closer look at my life, I learn that I have been operating my whole life based on trust. Without even meaning to, I trusted more than I have not. Turns out, to trust is easier than to distrust. Imagine, if you have to ask a hundred questions about the mechanics of the bus and credentials of the driver each time before you would board a bus, you probably can never get much done in a day before you have to repeat the tedious cycle of suspicion all over again on the next.

I beat myself up many times for not having as much trust as I thought I should have in God. Then I realize, just like everything else in life, my trust in God has been more present than absent. There are so many instances in which I have trusted Him without even consciously doing so. From trusting Him to get me through a mammoth task without needing me to fall on my knees in desperate plea, to trusting Him to keep my lungs expanding and collapsing every living minute, so that the gas that keeps me alive never stop running through me. For every event that I lack confidence in, there is trust taken for granted for ten others.

Without even realizing it, I have trusted so much all my life.

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